Like a Real Person

It's amazing how obvious it has become that those wires were standing between me and happiness. I've been feeling so good this week.

Pain: I have very little pain in my jaws, except for some that I attribute to them constantly being clenched with rubber bands. I also get an occasional sharp pain in my upper lip or chin that lasts a few seconds. Nothing I can't handle.

Range of motion: With the rubber bands on, I can open my mouth about a quarter of an inch. Without them, I can open about an inch and a half, or a finger and a little bit.

Bite: I haven't gotten over the fact that my upper teeth are in front of my lower teeth. Just lovely. My left back teeth don't make full contact, but the doctor says rubber bands + orthodontia will fix this. I also have a smallish gap in my top teeth on both sides from where my jaw was advanced. I assume that's what it's from, at least; the wire on my braces is cut there, also.

Eating: I eat almost everything. That's not to say I eat almost everything normally, because many things I just swallow whole. I'm getting better at chewing but not all there.

Appearance: Either my swelling is going down, or I'm just getting used to Chubby Cheeks. Also, I totally love my profile. I've been paying extra attention to everyone else's, and I've decided that mine is definitely normal now. Saturday, I went out with some friends for dinner, and put on mascara and did my hair for the first time in a month. That's when I decided I looked like a real person!

School: Yup, this is my first week back at school, and I'm getting back into it. It's nice to be back, though I am exhausted. Reactions from my classmates are varied and interesting. Many don't say anything about my absence or new face -- my dad's explanation is that "only good friends or very tactless people will comment on something like a change in your appearance". Good friends and I suppose the tactless ask. One kid tentatively asked me if I had my wisdom teeth removed. I told him I hadn't, and explained my surgery, basically that my jaw had been broken and then wired shut. This story attracted quite an audience of ooooo-ing people. I was a little proud, I must admit!

THE EAGLE HAS LEFT THE NEST

And by that, I totally mean that THE WIRES ARE OFF! MY TONGUE IS FREE! PANCAKES ARE IN MY BELLY!!!!

Today was the longest I've had to wait at the surgeon's office, but it was also the only time that I didn't really have the urge to kill him (nice guy, yes, but I have not been a very happy girly). Finally, a nurse showed me into the exam room, brought in a tray of tools, and left. I admit it, I peeked. There were a bunch of those pincher clamp scissorlike looking things, a wire cutter and oh my god that's the biggest needle I've ever seen!













I spent the next 5 minutes scared shitless that there would be novacane involved, at which point the nurse returned, calmed my fears, and took x-rays. I learned that there are 4 plates and 16 screws in my upper jaw, plus 4 screws in my chin.









Then came the de-wiring. The first cut produced a little *pop!* and I thought a naive all done! that was easy! I was wrong, of course. The removing of the wires didn't hurt per se, but all the pulling on my lips and cheeks certainly didn't feel good. Then I was asked to open my mouth, a little wider, a little wider, thereeeeeeeee you go *yank* and the blasted splint was gone.










I was sent off to brush my teeth (an act I've repeated twice already tonight) and then the doctor showed me how to put on the rubber bands. Now, I had my share of braces at thirteen, and I was expecting something like those lovely little things I dreamed of tie dying shoelaces with. You know! Like the ones Shontell has? Not the case, my friends. These things are THICK and there are four of them wrapped around various sets of teeth. I can't really open my mouth with them on (but the surgeon says I should be able to soon), and without them my mouth opens about half an inch. I'm allowed to take them off to eat and then brush my teeth. I forgot to ask: what if I'm eating constantly? I guess the amount of trouble it takes to put them on with dissuade me from this though. I had to make a diagram!





Of course, my dad and sister took me to dinner at IHOP. I ordered pancakes, hash browns, and grapefruit juice. The pancakes were covered in butter and syrup and cut into tiny pieces, which I swallowed whole (I don't really... get?... chewing yet). I drank the juice with a straw, which was exciting. The hash browns were eaten by my sister. It was delicious, but in the end, I only managed about a pancake and a half. Baby steps, people, baby steps. When I got home, I had Peeps for dessert.

In summary! Brushing my teeth: a dream. Eating: a struggle, but wonderful. Twenty thousand less things are poking me, my speech is so much clearer (still sounds like my teeth are clenched, but it's my voice again), I can give my mom a kiss, and I'm feeling HAPPY!

Jaws Wired Shut

Two more days!

Meanwhile, open this link, scroll down, and press the pause button in the video screen. Give it those two days (or about 45 minutes) to load up the whole thing. Watch! Quite funny.

mmmmPancakes......

IN FIVE DAYS!

That's right, the unwiring -- and my 4-week anniversary -- are in just five days. I can't wait to eat pancakes, brush my teeth, drive, and even go back to school.

At three weeks and a little bit, I'm healing up nicely. The only lingering problems are really sleeping, soup, and swelling.

Sleep: I must be on some weird schedule, because I haven't been falling asleep until 3 or 4 for the past few nights. There's nothing more lonely or depressing than being the only person awake at 4. Ugh. Even when I wake up at a semi-reasonable 9 the next morning, I cannot fall asleep. I guess I could take something, but I don't really want to deal with that

Soup: No, thank you. It's really an eating problem, but I liked the alliteration of "sleeping, soup, and swelling" :-D I... just don't want to eat. It's annoying, slow, messy, and it doesn't taste very good. I basically live on blended, strained soups, yogurt, and ice cream. Sometimes juice. My parents tried to get me to eat Cheese-Whiz out of a syringe, but I told them exactly what I thought of them for that. I think I average around 1000 calories a day, but for some reason, I'm not still losing weight. Huh. Good thing too, because my parents have instated a no-new-dress-until-you-gain-the-weight-back policy. And I reallllllllllly want that dress, too.

Swelling: Not a huge problem, really. Just when I was feeling down about my cheeks being huge -- and worrying again that they were here to stay -- I noticed that they really do look smaller. My doctor says that it might take a year for my face to look like it will. The only reason the swelling is difficult is that my face is still very tender, which makes it hard to wash my face, wipe my nose, etc. I'm also just a little concerned that my jaw was overcorrected. Someone please reassure me that I now have a normal profile, not an overbite? (Please excuse my bony bare shoulders and my yellowy splint. Curry soups = tasty, but not that attractive to wear for a month)

The Three-Week Slump

I'm half way through week three, and I'm really feeling that three-week slump. I don't feel like going anywhere, doing anything. I'm hungry, but eating is too depressing. Schoolwork is really stressing me out. I'm kind of a mess.

Things have been improving, though. I can drink water (veryyyyyyy slowly) out of a glass. I've been sleeping on my side, and finally managed to fall asleep last night without Nyquil. It's been taking me about 2 hours to fall asleep lately, but I think this can be attributed to the vicious sleep-til-noon-stay-up-til-three cycle. I even went to see a show with my family yesterday. Today I got dressed and walked the dog around the block. Things are very slowly looking up.

My next doctor's appointment is on Saturday, which will mark the three weeks and a few days mark. Last appointment, I came with a small list of questions written out on an index card. This week, I will have just one question: "when is the soonest next week I can come in to have the wires cut?"

Whoaaa Half Way There!

I've survived week two! Or, to do it corny Bon Jovi song-style, I'm "half way there!"

Week two was a significantly more pleasant week than week one. At this point, I am off all prescribed medications, and I take Nyquil at night. I've regained much of my stamina, appetite, and will to live ;-). I'm eating much better, and my weight loss has leveled off at about 15lbs. I sleep through the night, and feel well enough during the day to do some of the schoolwork I'm missing. My swelling seems to go down daily (surgeon says it's 80% gone), and my face is becoming less and less numb. My speech is more understandable (or my parents have gotten better at understanding it!) A couple of friends are coming over tomorrow evening to watch a movie and drink milkshakes.

Because, as a Whiner I'm milking this experience for all it's worth, I will present you with my list of complaints:

1. Goddammit, I'm hungry!! Eating is messy and slow, and I crave real food. The list includes a cheeseburger, pickle, pancakes, sesame chicken, Life cereal, pasta with tomato sauce (in pasta form, please!), pizza, and a BLT.

2. There is chicken stuck in my splint (inside my mouth) and it is driving me absolutely insane. I am constantly wiggling it with my tongue to no avail.

3. My face is swollen and too tender to wash really well, so my skin is awful.

4. It's cold. (Not surgery related, but this is my blog and I'll complain about what I want!!)

5. My nose is still quite stuffy, and I don't yet have the all-clear to blow it.

6. I still have pain. Obviously not enough to take the codeine, or I would. Also not enough to drink Children's Motrin.

7. It's very frustrating not to be able to talk.

8. These hooks are poking me something awful.

Okay, that's enough. Pictures?!



I was very concerned that those cheeks were here to stay, until my surgeon said that I'm still swollen.













Will you look at that overbite?!

Still Alive: A Qualifying Post (aka, Week 1)

Thanks again for everyone's comments and concerns. I've got to say, it made me feel pretty good to finally check my email and find close to a dozen notifications of comments. Sorry again I haven't posted sooner. Those who have had their surgeries already may understand why (though most of you are excellent bloggers despite) and those of you awaiting your surgeries may get a good idea after this post. I've been feeling awful sometimes, okay other times. Never really great, honestly. I am very weak -- going upstairs, heating up some potatoes, or getting dressed is so tiring I have to rest afterwards. I spend the majority of the day in bed or on the couch watching TV, knitting, reading a magazine, or spacing out. I hardly have the energy for a novel. I do see this improving though, and I'm optimistic.

The Hospital Stay
I arrived at the hospital on Thursday morning. After checking in, I changed into the pajamas they provided and waited with my mom. I answered questions, filled out forms, and met with the nurse, and the surgical and anesthesia residents. Finally, I was brought in to the OR. I handed my glasses to my mom and went in to lay on the little table. They gave me laughing gas and started an IV (it took them a few tries, but I was pretty ambivalent at that point). Then I was out.
I woke up in the recovery room with my parents and my sister. I don't remember very much from the first day, just that they couldn't find a room for me and my mom and I spent the first night in the recovery room. I was given a room the next day. They also had me get x-rays, which was pretty awful. They propped me up in a wheelchair and sent me off with someone from Transport. She kept getting lost, and at one point, left me somewhere while she asked someone where we were supposed to be. I had no idea what was going on, and began to panic. It's scary to be lost and unable to talk! The other thing was that, on the rare occasion that one of my parents wasn't in my room with me and I called a nurse, they would come over the nurse call thing and ask me what I needed. When I told them, "kjklajsflkj!!!" they would hang up.
Most of my stay was uneventful. I was on a catheter into third day and on an IV until discharge. Both were fine, even good, as they meant that I didn't have to do anything. The nurses were for the most part very helpful and kind, and the doctors slightly less so.
I was supposed to be in the hospital for two nights, but ended up staying three. This is mostly because I still wasn't drinking anything on the second day, and drinking is a condition of being discharged. I was actually glad to stay the third night, because I knew I would receive the best care, etc. All in all, I found the hospital to be very comfortable.


Sleeping
Actually, as I began this post, it was three in the morning. I've been sleeping the wackiest hours and always waking up after no more than 4 hours of sleep. In the hospital, I pretty much dozed nonstop. Since I've been home, I've required less sleep and usually stay up the whole day (generally with a mid-morning or late-evening nap). I actually find sleep pretty... frustrating. It's not that I don't sleep well, it's that I wake up abruptly and uncomfortably, and often in the middle of a crazy dream. When I woke up the other night, I was convinced that I was Buzz Albright, and that I was responsible for creating the tops to jars of split-pea soup. Actually, I was just Buzz's nose, and it took me a few minutes to remember how not to be a nose and how to drink. A different night, I was extremely frustrated because I was responsible for frosting a Christmas tree. Yes, a tree. While in the hospital, I freaked my dad out by demanding in the middle of the night what shape my head was. I was looking for a geometric shape, something with eight sides.
I didn't buy any special pillow for sleeping on my back, and ended up just piling pillows on my bed. While I do long to sleep on my tummy in the fetal position, sleeping on my back has gone surprisingly okay.

Medications
Tylenol with codeine (every six hours): This replaces the morphine and percoset I was on in the hospital. In the beginning, I would start to feel pain an hour before I was ready for another dose. Now, I usually don't need it every six hours.
Sudafed (every six hours): This is supposed to help with my congestion. It also makes my heart beat like crazy. Last night, I took Actifed at night instead, because it makes you drowsy. Apparently, it also doesn't dissolve in water, so I'm going to be trying children's nasal decongestant instead tonight.
Flonase (once a day): This is a nasal spray for congestion
Actin (twice a day): Another nasal spray
Amoxacillin (three times a day): An antibiotic. I've heard people say that they liked this as kids when they had to take it for an ear infection. At first, I couldn't understand it. But, it's actually not so bad.

Breathing
This deserves its own section because it's really been my biggest problem. Often, my nose gets so congested that I feel like I really. can't. breathe. It's pretty scary. So far, remedies have been sitting in the bathroom with the shower running, salt water nose spray, and hydrogen peroxide. We also got a humidifier yesterday, which seems to be doing the trick, because I slept so much better last night. I've been using a bulb syringe in my nose and mouth a lot, which is also very helpful.

Eating
I'm still really figuring this out. While in the hospital, no one really offered me anything to eat, which was fine because I had no appetite. I'm not sure if I was being nourished by IV... I guess probably. When I got home, I still had no desire to eat. I had no interest in food, and didn't really think I was hungry (though I did have periodic stomach aches that were probably hunger). I think I had a little juice and Ensure on Monday, but both were very sweet and tasted medicinal to me. Tuesday morning, I had chicken broth, which worked pretty well. Since then, food has been a battle. I don't feel too hungry (considering what I've eaten in the last week probably constitutes a single meal) and eating is frustrating and tiring. I've already lost 15 pounds, and the doctor thinks I'll lose another 10 next week.
While my doctor was supposed to give me a supply of Zip-N-Squeeze, that never happened, so the hospital sent me home with an extensive collection of syringes in 4 different sizes. Though it took me a few tries to figure it out, these have been working pretty well for me. The key is placing the straw all the way in the back of your mouth, holding your lips tightly closed, and swallowing (seems obvious, huh?). I have had no luck using a baby spoon, however. I can't seem to get enough of the food all the way in back of my mouth. I almost always have a dishtowel with me, which is very useful for cleaning up as I eat.
So far I've had the following foods: Chocolate Ensure, chicken broth, vegetable broth, plain yogurt, strawberry-Ensure smoothie, banana-peanut butter smoothie, Starbucks mocha frappechino, Carnation Instant Breakfast (my favorite), chocolate pudding, and mashed potatoes with broccoli and cheese. Other hopefuls that have not yet been successful are butternut squash, applesauce, guacamole, and hummus.

Hygiene
I've taken four showers since I've been home. I really like them, because I feel much better afterwards and they really clear out my nose. On the other hand, it's extremely tiring. I have a bench in my shower, so I spend most of the time sitting, but I still need to lie down as soon as I come out.
Cleaning my mouth is also a huge chore, and one my surgeon said I am not doing very well with when I saw him yesterday. I mostly use a toothbrush and then a syringe of water or a waterpik on low for irrigation.

Pictures!
I'm pretty happy with my profile, but I think I'll be even more thrilled when the swelling is down and I can really see the difference.

Before












Day 1









Day 2













Day 6











Day 7